Couples

Betty and Tim die in a car accident on the eve of their wedding. In Heaven, they ask St.Peter if they can still be married.
     ''Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay here and i will be right back."
         Six months pass and Peter returns. "Yes, we can do this for you."
           The couple asks, "Well, as we have spent so much time together waiting for your answer, we need to know that if things don't work out, is there a possibility that we can be divorced?"
               To which St.Peter answers, "It took me six months to find a priest up there -- how long do you think it will take me to find  lawyer.

A wife comes in and yells, "Honey,pack your clothes! I just won the lottery!"
      Her husband yells back, "Should i pack for the beach or for the mountains?"
          The wife replies,"I don't care! Just get the hell out!"

There was a lawyer and he was just waking from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said,"You're beautiful!" And then fell asleep again. His wife has never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said,"You're cute!", Well the wife was disappointed because instead of beautiful it was cute. She said"What happened to beautiful?'' His reply was "The drugs are wearing off"

an elderly man was worried that his wife had a hearing problem. so one evening, he snuck up behinde her while she was sitting in her recliner. he said softly, "can you hear me, dear?" there was no response. he moved closer and said again, "can you hear me, dear?" still, his wife said nothing. finally, he stood right behind her and said, "can you hear me, dear?"
  she snapped, "for the third time, YES!"

A husband watches the TV and yell:
-No, no, you fool.. What are you doing?!
That moment wife comes in the room and ask him:
-What are you yelling darling? What's wrong?
Husband:
-No thing, just watching our wedding..

True story:
A man named Bob was dating a woman named Tatia and wanted to marry her. He put a bill board asking her on the route she always took home from work. She drove by it and immediately said yes, but this caused 11 other relationship problems because 10 other women named Tatia were dating men named Bob. The 11th problem was because one Tatia was dating two men named Bob.

A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled:
"How would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"
The man couldn't believe his luck: 'That would be great'!
Monday passed and he didn't see her......
Tuesday and wednesday passed too.....
On thursday his swelling became better
And now he could see her from the
corner of one eye;)

A blonde woman is distraught because she suspects her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gunshop the next day and buys a handgun.The next day she goes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head, the husbband beggs and cries telling her not to kill her self. Then she said shut up your next!