Naughty

So this blonde girl is really horny and hungry and along comes an asian.  The asian then see that she is horny and looks hungry so he says to her "Did you know if you had sex with me you can survive on my cum?" she shakes her head No.  she tags along with him. 9 weeks later he finds her with a puzzled look and he says "Whats wrong?" she replies "IM PREGNANT!!!!! and what confuses me is why? Chinese food goes right through me!"

Therese a pirate that wrecked his ship and survived,two days later the pirate walks into a bar,the bar tender tells the pirate,"Did you know Therese a steering wheel  Atached to your crotch?"The pirate says"Arr It's driven me nuts!"

A blonde is out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river, then down the river and yells, "You ARE on the other side!"

A blonde and her father were out boat-fishing. They caught so much fish that the boat could not stand the weight, so it began to leak. "Oh no!" exclaims the blonde's father. "Our boat has a leak under the seat! We have to do something or we're going to drown!" The blonde looks up. "Make another leak, stupid," she tells her father. "The water will go out of that hole."

Once there were three boys: Trouble, Shutup, and Manners. One day, Trouble went missing. Shutup and Manners decided to look for him. They came to the police station, but Manners got shy and stayed outside while Shutup entered the station. A cop walked over to him and asked, "What's your name?" "Shutup," answered Shutup. "Where's your manners?" Demanded the officer. "Outside." Furious, the cop growled, "Are you looking for trouble?" "Yes." replied Shutup.

Ronnie, McAllen, Jimmy, Bobby and Steve lived together with their mother. One day, Jimmy called his mom. "Mom!" he shouted. His mother came running. "What's wrong, sweetie?" she asked. "I flushed a bomb down the toilet," he replied. At the same moment, a loud crackle came from the bathroom. His mom ran to fix the toilet. Fortuantely, there where still 7 bathrooms left, and 6 more bombs. The next day, Ronnie wailed, "Mommy! I flushed a bomb down the toilet!" And so his mother darted towards the second bathroom and fixed it. The day after, McAllen screamed, "Mom! I flushed a bomb down the toilet!" His mother slapped her face with her hand, but still rushed towards the restroom and fixed it again. After that day, Steve hollered, "Mommy! I flushed a bomb down the toilet!" And the poor mother sped to the bathroom and fixed it.

A day later, Bobby yelled, "Mommy!" His mother hurried towards him, sweat dripping from her forehead. "What is it, honey? Don't tell me you flushed a bomb down the toilet." "No mommy." Bobby said, smiling. "A fly caught a spider and I tried to get the fly and I fell and burped and the cat barked and farted up the tree and the dog meowed and puked and ran to the middle of the road and got crushed by a Jeep."

A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother’s, and asked her why.

She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."

The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger "units" than his dad.

His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.

Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly told his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."

A man and woman are getting divorced. While together he gave her blood. He says I want my blood back. She throws him a tampon and says I'll pay you monthly!