Kate Justine Duggan

An amish family (Mother, Father and Son), are at an american shopping mall. They are marveled at everything, especially the small room that moves up and down (the elevator). At one point, the Father and Son are alone, watching this wondrous mechanism. They watch as a little old woman goes in the machine, and a few minutes later, the doors open again, and a beautiful young woman strides out. The father leans in towards his son, and says,
"Go get your mother."

Two men work on top of the CN Tower. They both get the same thing for lunch every day. One day, one of the guys says,
"I am so sick of ham sandwichs! If my wife packs one more ham sandwich for me, I'll jump off this tower!" The other guy says,
"Well, if my wife packs me one more peanut butter sandwich, I'll jump too!" The next day, the ham guy got another ham sandwich, and jumped off. Same with peanut butter guy. At the funeral, Ham guys wife says,
"I should've listened to my husband! I can't believe it! It's all my fault!" Peanut butter guys wife says,
"My husband packed his own lunch."

A Police Officer pulls a man over.
"Paper," he says. The man in the car says,
"Scissors. Scissors beats paper." And drives away.

This is actually a riddle.
Q. A father and son are in a car together and get in an accident. The father passes away and the son needs sugery. In the hospital the surgeon comes in and says,
"I can't do surgery on my son!"

How is this possible? Answer in the comments (There is no super natural activity in this riddle!!).

This is a riddle.
Q. You died. When you go to St Peters he has a pair of twin boys with him.
"Today I have changed it up." Behind him were two doors that were exactly the same.
"One of these doors lead to heaven, and the other one leads to hell. You have one question to ask these twins to try to figure out which door is which, on the scenario that one always lies, and one always tells the truth. Take as much time as you need."

What do you ask the twins? This is a REALLY hard riddle so I will put the answer in the comments after ten comments.

A blonde girl walks into the hospital. She has a gunshot wound in her finger.
"How in the world did you get a gunshot wound, in your finger?!" The doctor says.
"Well, I wanted to commit suicide, so I pressed a gun up to my chest, but then I remembered that I was wearing a $400 dollar designer sweater, so I put the gun up to my ear, but then I thought it would be really loud, so I put my finger in the other ear, and when I shot, I got this in my finger!"